This was written as a column, but never sent out. I revised it slightly to take out some of the anger that was in the original version, nonetheless it's still essentially the same work.
I think that probably everyone to whom I'm sending these writings is aware that I'm going through what is turning out to be a somewhat unpleasant custody battle. Personally, I'd place my feelings about this litigation as something more unpleasant than unpleasant, but then I've heard of a lot of others who have and are going through worse.
Take that of Juan Miguel Gonzalez. I doubt there's anyone in the U.S. that hasn't heard the story of Elian Gonzalez, taken from Cuba by his mother, and who ended up one of only three survivors of that trip.
But many don't seem to think about his father, Juan Miguel, who waited five months to be allowed to see his son.
He knew where his child was. He was clearly the only surviving parent of Elian -- no one disputes that. However, relatives in Miami decided they knew what was best for Elian, and what they considered best was to keep Elian in the United States, and, consequently, away from his father.
Juan Miguel has the misfortune of living in a place those relative don't like because of the political climate. If Juan were willing to come and live permanently in the USA, my suspicion is that those relatives would hand Elian over to his father without much hesitation.
But that's not what happened. They kept Elian away from his father for five months. They refused to negotiate in good faith, and when the US realized that they had no intention of turning Elian over to his father, Immigration services and the FBI raided the house and took Elian.
Now those relative are complaining loudly about how those people who participated in the raid and who authorized raid are insensitive to a little boy's needs and emotional state. They're also angry because Elian was handed over -- finally -- to his father.
They have a right to be unhappy. They've almost certainly lost. It matters little whether or not Elian is allowed to apply for asylum as long as his father wishes to take him back to Cuba. I seriously doubt any court could believe that a six year old child could make that decision and know what it would truly mean, so wishes of the child's guardian -- his father -- will probably prevail. They're unhappy because they aren't being allowed to see Elian.
I'm not surprised they're unhappy. On the other hand I find it very difficult to feel anything but anger toward them. In my opinion, they had no right to keep Elian from his father. A six year old boy doesn't understand politics. But that same boy knows who his father is, and when that father is a loving father -- as all reports of Juan say he is -- that little boy misses his father and wants to be with him. Especially in a time when his mother has died.
The relatives in Florida took something away from both father and son that can never be replaced. Elian's mother was dead, his father was denied him, and strangers were all he had. He should have been delivered to his father immediately.
I'd be very surprised if Juan Miguel allowed them to see Elian any time in the near future. In principle, he says he'll allow them to see the child. In reality, that will have to wait. If we look at this from the father's point of view, we have to recognize that these people are the same ones who refused to let him -- the father -- take custody of his own child.
If it had been me, they'd have a long wait. Long enough they might never be allowed to see my child again.
Juan Miguel Gonzalez has every right to be angry with those people, and has every right keep them from trying to influence his son against him.
I don't feel sorry for those relatives. They seemingly were given many, many, chances to hand Elian over in a reasonable way. If there was harm done to Elian by the raid, (which I doubt), it was caused by the refusal of the relatives to negotiate in good faith.
Let's step back for just a moment. If this had been an American child being held in a foreign country under similar circumstances, pretty much every American would be screaming for the government to get the child back to the U.S. where he belonged.
But then, isn't that what is happening in Cuba? Cuba just doesn't have the political clout that the United States would wield if it happened to a U.S. citizen.
Perhaps that's too bad.
Regardless, I think Elian is where he belongs. With his father.